New Years Resolution

My resolution for the New Year was not to loose weight; it would kind of be a moot point since I made the decision to change my life that way last September. It also wasn’t to go to the gym; I’ve been going regularly for almost three years now.

It was to stop discussing politics with people.

I don’t bring my politics into this blog since that isn’t what it’s about and I won’t do it now; but the simple truth is: the people who agree with me already know what I believe, and the people who do not agree with me have no desire whatsoever to hear my thoughts.

This doesn’t mean I am giving up, I will never give up on America for so long as it lasts – I love this country, I believe in it. And answering a question open-mindedly asked of me is not what I’m talking about. Nor am I giving up the hard won voting rights that my foremothers fought and suffered for on my behalf. I would never dishonor their memory that way.

I just find discussing it in certain formats to be pointless anymore; I’m tired of engaging in an activity that causes me nothing but grief and drives wedges between friends. Someone throws up an angry and incendiary opinion and I feel a need to respond. Why? I’m not going to change their opinion, I’m not going to soothe the anger they’ve forged inside themselves. People have to find their own peace.

I for one am tired of the atmosphere of division in this great country and the culture of ridiculing and viciously demeaning whatever you don’t happen to agree with. Sometimes I feel as though the concept of simple respect for fellow human beings is dead.

I have no way of stopping other people from doing this, the only thing I can control is my own behavior.

So on this small front anyway, and until they take my vote away from me – the pointless, divisive hatred is going to stop with me.

We are all Americans.

More Than One Way

I love grapefruit.

For one thing it’s one of my top favorite scents in the world – I used to make a home made fine sea salt and sugar body scrub with grapefruit oil extract that turned my tub into a scary almond oil slick but left such a yummy smell behind. However I love the way it looks and tastes as well; and as a bonus – it’s good for me.

To me there’s only ever been one way to eat a grapefruit. You cut it in half, slice around the membranes with a small, sharp knife and then coat the sections with sugar. Once you’ve eaten out the sections, you squeeze the empty halves until all the sugar and juice is in the dish you were eating from – and you drink it.

Later I discovered Dole Fruit Naturals pink grapefruit cups; which are very tasty but again – they’re basically the same combo of fruit and added sugar prepped for you in advance.

Then I witnessed a friend sitting and eating a grapefruit more or less like you would an orange; peel it, take off the pith, peel the skin from the sections and just – eat.

I eyed her suspiciously…

“They’re too bitter for me to eat them that way.”

My friend: “No they’re not, here – try it…”

I tried it.

Turns out grapefruit aren’t half as bitter as I thought. They’re flavorful, tangy and sweet all at the same time – like nature’s Sweet Tart candy. They’re also extremely messy to eat like this since you wind up sucking the fruit out of the sections and squirting juice everywhere. But hey, I love food, getting sprayed with grapefruit juice isn’t such a bad time from my perspective – even if I did have to rinse it off my glasses later on.

The point of the story is habits; we get set in ours and don’t think to break out of them. I haven’t been eating a fruit I love, because I incorrectly thought I needed to load it with extra sugar in order to enjoy it. What other foods are out there I’ve been avoiding that simply need alternative prep methods prior to discovering something wonderful..?

Festival Tradition

I think it’s safe to say that most families have traditions, especially those that surround holidays we celebrate such as Christmas.

For over twenty years, my family has celebrated a post-holiday tradition of attending the annual Boar’s Head and Yule Log Festival at St. Peter’s Lutheran church in Lafayette Hill. It’s this fantastic combination of Medieval Celtic paganism and Christian Nativity play that I have loved and looked forward to since I was a child.

In a world where everything and everyone always seems to be in flux; though small things change there, it still has a comforting sameness to it year after year.

The suits of armor and spear and shield decorations are always there as they should be; with greeters by the front door dressed as though they’ve escaped from the local Renaissance Faire.

The Reverend who gives the opening remarks may change; but he will always be greeted by an adorable sprite who carries the light of God to him through the darkened church. It’s odd to think that the first sprite I ever saw has to be older than me right now…

The Lord and Lady of the Manor will arrive splendidly dressed; and greet their guests who dance some fashion of Medieval dance up the center Isle.

Since the boar was a symbol of evil in past days; the slaying of it was symbolic of Christ’s triumph over evil and darkness in the world. And the splendidly gruesome Boar’s Head prop will be brought out to much fanfare on its richly decorated tray that requires two young lads to carry – followed by the cooks and hunters carrying other aspects of the Festival feast.

Woodsmen (or Woodswomen) will pull the lighted Yule log through the church; being ridden and followed by a gaggle of wood sprites.

Young girls in angel costumes who no doubt had fun going overboard putting sparkles in their hair will come and dance; and herald the arrival of the Holy Family.

King Wenceslas will arrive with his page; and though he doesn’t know me he’s been played by the same man with the lovely tenor for my entire life. He’s like an old friend who has no idea I exit. He will be followed by Balthazar, Caspar and Melchior with their pages and gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myyrh.

The Star of the East will arrive; carrying the star ahead of him – and always dressed like Aladdin.

And over it all is the music; pipe organ, orchestra and full choir – all talented, all working hard on this labor of love – year beyond year. And best of all the bagpipe band – whose loud music of pipes and drums fills the space of the church to spectacular degree.

Some of my favorite and infrequently heard songs of Christmas come from hearing them at the Boar’s Head Festival; ones you don’t hear on the radio like the Star Carol, On the way to Bethlehem, and Let all Mortal Flesh Keep Silence. Ending it all with Highland Cathedral on bagpipes – echoing up to heaven through the ancient wooden rafters.

I took my husband once to the Festival when we were newly wed; and his take on it was that it’s nice – but you only need to see it once. For me; the Christmas season just isn’t complete until I’ve had that music fill me; and said hello to the grisly old black boar once again.

Comments Fixed?

Some people have told me that they can't leave comments on my blog - so I fiddled with the settings to see if I could fix that. If anyone wants to test it out and see if it's working better now, feel free to leave a test comment.

-Carolyn

@!#?$%&

Post Holidays – Weight holding steady at 255 lbs.

I think I may have seriously messed up my back, as in herniated disc messed up. And yes, I know I should go get it treated because I can barely exercise like this – in combo with the burning nerve pain and inability to sense hot or cold on the right side, my legs both feel like lead weights now and I can’t decide which one to drag, Quasimodo style, behind me.

I’m pissed off to be quite frank, I’m hurt because I’m fat and exercising. So what the heck am I supposed to do? If I’m in pain I can’t exercise and then I’ll just stay fat – which is in all probability what’s hurting me. I’d like to point out that my back was perfectly fine prior to when I started kicking my own butt at the gym three to four times per week.

I think I’ll call this the fitness kobayashi maru.

Feh.

Small Talk

I don’t really have any diet related thoughts today other than being pleased that the Holidays are over – they were really, really difficult. Today I’m just writing about what happens to be on my mind right now.

If there is a skill or a gene for small talk I seem to have been born without it, I’m truly awful at it. And the deficiency particularly shows in an office environment like the one I work in.

What’s worse, small talk actually irritates me… which makes my responses to it seem particularly snarky.

Here’s an example…

Well meaning co-worker: “Your hair is getting long.”
Me: “I know.”

Although to be honest, I have no idea what the correct response to that statement actually is. Thank you seems like a somehow inappropriate response for an acknowledgement that my body is growing hair.

Here’s another one, precipitated by a hapless co-worker who entered the lunch room to find me curled up alone contentedly reading a book…

Well meaning co-worker: “You’re eating all by yourself today.”
Me: (after carefully looking around the lunchroom to be sure) “You’re right.”

That guy unfortunately irritated me on two levels; one he started small talk, and two he started talking to me when I quite obviously had my nose in a book – dragging me away from my book… for small talk.

Ted has told me I’m being mean to people with my responses and he’s not wrong… I know that people who make small talk are trying to be social, nice, trying to connect to one another. I just have this terrible impatience with wasted words.