Breastfeeding in Public

This article is not written as one who has ever had occasion to breastfeed in public (or anywhere for that matter), but rather as a person who owns a set of boobs.

I read recently that the Town of Doylestown near where I live has passed a law prohibiting shop and restaurant owners from asking a woman to cover up or leave an establishment if she is feeding her child.

I feel that this is a good thing.

Breasts are one of many areas where American mentality has gone a bit off the rails.  This part of the female body has become so hyper sexualized in our culture that when a woman is using them for their intended, biological purpose this is somehow considered offensive to people.  However, boobs do not actually exist for titillation – they are, in point of fact, a feeding device.  When a woman is using them for this purpose there should not be anything awkward or sexual about that, it’s just a baby eating.  It’s sweet, and beautiful, and natural – yes, all those things.  But it is nothing whatsoever to be uncomfortable about.

I know all the arguments: Why can’t she put a blanket over herself?  Why can’t she go into a ladies restroom to do that?  I don’t want to see that!

First of all yes, many women do use a blanket or cover and it works fine for them.  However many women have infants that will just not eat that way.  I can’t blame them, would you want to duck under a stuffy blanket to eat lunch?

As for the bathroom – um, gross.  Same argument here, would you eat lunch in a bathroom?  A baby is a human being just like you.  Granted it’s a small, messy and socially awkward human being but I for one wouldn’t demand that a baby do something I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.

As for not wanting to see such things, that’s fine too.  Don’t look.  I give the same answer to people who bleat about not wanting to see fat people in general or not wanting to see arms like mine in sleeveless shirts.  Feel free not to look, my friend.  You control where your eyes go.

These women are not closet exhibitionists, they’re perfectly average everyday people who know that a baby does not wait patiently when it’s hungry – it becomes increasingly loud and demanding until it’s needs are met.  It will in fact annoy the crap out of everyone around it until it gets what it wants.  The mother does not want you to be impressed by her boobs, she isn’t thinking about you at all, she just wants to get her child fed and ease its discomfort as quickly as possible.  Simple as that.

This is not a question of modesty.  Immodest is wearing a peek-a-boo bra or a skirt so short your cheeks are dangling out.  Girls do wear those things sometimes to look impressive, and expect people to be impressed when they do.  However, there is nothing immodest or indecent about a breast with a baby attached to it.  This situation is not sexual in any way, shape or form – and Americans are seriously overdue in adjusting their mentality to this fact.

So to that end, I offer some advice:

I understand that we don’t see boobs often when they’re not on a screen or on the body of someone we’re very familiar with.  So when someone you either don’t know well or don’t know at all pulls them out in your vicinity it can be a little startling.  You may glance, and then feel bad about the fact that you glanced.  It’s okay.  Glancing is hard not to do since it’s a reflex, its standing and staring that’s awkward, unwanted and creepy.

If you are having a conversation with a woman and she starts to feed her child, don’t freak out.  If she didn’t want to continue her conversation with you while doing this she would have left the room.  The same rules in this situation apply as normal: you look her in the face and continue talking.  You wouldn’t stare at her breasts otherwise, so why do it now?

Take a deep breath, smile, relax, and go about your day.  I promise it won’t hurt you, it’s just a baby eating.

Status Update

Just a short post to let people know that I eeked into a different set of digits on the scale this morning.  *points to weight loss ticker*

I am now officially in the 260's.

Also, predictably, I have hurt my back so I cannot exercise the moment I start doing well.  I wasn't actually even exercising when I did it.  I am now old enough that bending over to clean the bathroom can cause a spontaneous and inexplicable lower back injury.

However, I refuse to let this get me down.  I didn't sleep it off last night like I wanted to, but tomorrow I intend to be all better.

Go snail go!

"Meow"

The Day After

Hi,

First off, I'd like to thank my lovely wife Carolyn for inviting me to post on her blog.

I'm writing this post a day after the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks to make several points. Some of you may be looking at your calendars right now, thinking: "Wow, yesterday was the 11th anniversary of 9/11...it's been 11 years?". Yes, a decade plus one year. The date doesn't have as much impact in 2012 as it did in 2002.

But this is what I really noticed: In all my life, I have never seen the country more united than I did the day after 9/11/2001. There were no Democrats, no Republicans, no Christians, no Atheists, no straights, no gays, no 1%, no 99%. We were all just Americans. We were united as a people, because someone hurt our own, in our home.

Now it's 11 years and a day later, and in my life I've never seen the country MORE divided than it is right now. Everyone has an opinion, stance or cause and chances are it conflicts with yours.  And boy, if there is a disagreement, how the hate spews. Eleven years ago, an enemy hurt us. Now we just hurt ourselves. I hope and pray it's not going to take more loss of innocent American lives to make people realize that united we stand, divided we will fall.

Thanks for reading.

-Ted

Where I Won't Be Eating

Where to even begin?

I guest first of all, as a person who has come to eat meat fairly infrequently, the food in this commercial doesn’t even look appealing to me anymore.  It looks greasy and sloppy and heavy.  I can easily picture gas and nausea following it’s consumption in short order.

As for content… wow.  Just… wow.  Do I even need to say that people who eat like that do not actually look like that?  Talk about reinforcing the stereotypical, unattainable (for most) beauty ideal while simultaneously lying to you about how to achieve it.  Way to go.  The two girls in this commercial undoubtedly worked extremely hard for their physiques and followed nutrition plans that do not include a sandwich that packs in 1,260 calories, 21 grams of saturated fat and 3,010 milligrams of sodium.  Getting through the making of this thing had to be torture for them.  I’d be very surprised if they didn’t spit out each bite of the sandwiches they had to take.

I realize that sex sells, okay?  However, if I were a man I would even find this offensive.  My husband is the one who located this spot and he was offended by the idea that he could be led around by his libido like a dog chasing a bone.  He was also appalled by how old these girls look.  I don’t know how old they are in reality, but we figured the blonde looks about fifteen and the brunette maybe seventeen.  Look closely at the faces and you’ll see what I mean.  When he dragged me to the living room to see this thing, he was irritated and told me we would never be eating there.  Granted, for me it’s all a moot point, since I don’t eat fast food anyway – but he and my son are fairly regular consumers of it.

Believe it or not, a lot of men are tired of being treated like stupid animals who conveniently hemorrhage cash whenever someone waves a  little T&A in their direction.  I know that my husband is not alone in this.

And two last notes to advertisers: women’s sole purpose for existing isn’t for men’s titillation, and exploitation of lesbians like this is extremely offensive.  Exactly how long is it going to take for the guys who write this drivel to figure out that lesbians are not actually interested in sexually stimulating men?  Is that really so hard to understand?

I have a headache now.