It’s an old tale that so many of us know well: Christmas comes and ruins the good nutritional intentions of many.
On the upside for me, I wasn’t even on any track to be knocked off of it at this point. The track is somewhere far away, distantly located on the other side the sunlight and chocolate strewn field through which I am currently frolicking while my clothes grow increasingly ill fitting.
So… as the year draws to a close what can I say I’ve accomplished?
I think the best thing I can come up with is my 4.0 GPA in grad school. Two classes into my Master’s degree and two A’s earned. Two wonderful semesters filled with learning new things.
When I’m in school I feel as though all the potential in the world lies spread in front of me. Sure, I may have a dead end job, but I am LEARNING! I’m learning something new and becoming something better. I feel positive, good, I feel as though I am going somewhere.
Also I am grateful to still be a healthy fat person. Thirty six years old and still no ill health effects as a result of being overweight. Doctors continue to tell me I’m playing Russian roulette with my life by not shedding the pounds, I believe them, I will continue to try and not give up. But still, I’m grateful that my sound nutritional knowledge seems to be sufficient to keep me in a state of good health in the interim.
I am happier and happier with my marriage and my husband each year as we grow to know and love each other better all the time. I feel cherished each day, cared for and valued. And I always have laughter and Ted’s “fits of weird” to enjoy. In a year that’s seen the destruction of so much, I’m so grateful for him in my life. We cling to one another like children in a storm.
So will this be the year I finally shed this weight? Will this be the year I become a rare success story? One of the teeny, tiny 5% of overweight people who will make a significant change in their BMI and STAY that way? I’m hesitant to make any promises I may not wind up keeping later. But as always, I continue to walk my road.
What else is there to do?