A Bad Day

***Disclaimer: Author currently in poor mental state.  You were warned.***

I continue to be a drain on society.

Apparently the last fat shaming, you-are-costing-your-country-too-much-money-FATSO article posted by a public news agency wasn’t effective, so today here’s a new one.

Maybe this one will finally make me thin up.  Heck knows I haven’t been trying and having soul crushing failures for over twenty years.  And it’s not as though I’ve utterly destroyed correct metabolic processes within my body by repeatedly starvation dieting so that now if I exercise five to seven times per week I might (if I’m lucky) loose a pound.  Well, except for the week where I have my period.  I could fast that whole week and nothings coming off, so just forget that one right there.

No, apparently all I needed was the CDC to tell me that on top of uglifying the world and taking up too much space on airplanes I’m also costing them way too much money as well.  Thank heck they told me, that should solve my problem posthaste.  I can’t be allowed to wallow in a state of blind self acceptance now, can I?  That wouldn’t be right.

Okay, yeah I’m bitter.  I’m not always bitter, but today is just a bitter day.  Today I feel like giving up and throwing in the towel and telling everyone to shove off.

Maybe it’s because last week I sat there listening to a someone complain to me about a size 16 woman, who had the audacity to be happy with herself and not realize she’s overweight.  How dare that fatty be happy with herself?  Doesn’t she know how BIG she is?  As always during these encounters I sit there in a dumbfounded state, unable to figure out why people think its okay to say hateful things to a fat person about other people who are smaller than the person they are speaking to.

I swear I’m taking crazy pills.

I shouldn’t read these articles, I know that.  I particularly shouldn’t read the comments.  The articles themselves are really just dry diagrams of the ways in which fatties make everybody’s life bad financially as well as propagation of the ever so ineffective BMI as a tool for determining just how much people need to be shamed.  The articles aren’t overall very emotional though.

The commenters however, are downright evil.  Some of them talking about how fat people need to be charged extra “fat taxes” since we’re a drain on everybody, some of them talking about how smokers live to a ripe old age but you can’t possibly find a 70 year old fatty, since we die off early – which conversely is a good thing because when we croak we finally stop costing SO MUCH MONEY.

I’ve actually heard that “can’t find a fat old person” trope twice this week.  Since one of my grandmothers was significantly overweight and lived past 90, I admit that one confuses me.

I know I should not look at this crap, but still I do, knowing full well that these people want me look and to feel as bad as possible.  It’s like that bizarre impulse that makes you check in your ex, either hoping that they’re miserable without you or just needing to hear from them in some way.  Why do we torture ourselves like this?

Part of me also suspects that the people who say such things don’t actually want everyone to be thin at all.  If everyone was thin, who would they bully?  Who would they be superior to?  They’d be left alone with their own blind hatred and no easy target.  They might self combust.

Heck with everybody.  See ya later, I’ve gotta go exercise.  Again.