A journey in words...

Welcome to my journey in words! A story about health, exercise, weight loss, food addiction, humor, size discrimination, sarcasm, social commentary and all the rest that’s rattling around inside my head...

I now twit, er... or tweet. Anyway, you can follow me on twitter @Aeon1202

Monday, October 1, 2012

Full Disclosure

As I’ve commented on before, about once a week I come across another news article screaming headlines about the “Obesity Epidemic” and how much of taxpayers money is being gobbled down by out of control fat people, causing an overwhelming drain on the health care system.

Almost daily, I come across posts on blogs from self important people boasting about their own socially acceptable clothing size and all the hard work they do to maintain it.  Repeatedly, they advise people of my own size to, “STOP EATING MCDONALDS AND GO EXERCISE!”

So, in the interest of full disclosure, I’m now going to strip for you.  I’m going far, far deeper than clothing and showing you what this 267 pound, 37 year old woman looks like on the inside.

Below are the real numbers from two health blood screenings I had performed about a week and a half apart.  I’ve arranged them into a handy chart for your convenience.

Type of Test
09/18/2012 Results
09/28/2012 Results
Ideal Range
Total Cholesterol
184 mg/dL
184 mg/dL
Less than 200
LDL Cholesterol
107 mg/dL
118 mg/dL
100 to 129
HDL Cholesterol
53 mg/dL
42 mg/dL
More than 60
118 mg/dL
121 mg/dL
Less than 150
Fasting Blood Sugar
110 mg/dL
95 mg/dL
Below 110
Hemoglobin A1C

4% to 5.9%
Blood Pressure
144 / 70
122 / 80
120 / 80

As you can see almost all of my numbers fall into the normal, healthy range.  The first blood pressure check was performed at work by our health screeners who tend to stress me out (also they tested it first thing in the morning immediately after I’d run up two flights of stairs).  When it was re-checked by my personal physician the second time it was right on target in the ideal range, which is where it’s been for me for all the six years I’ve been a patient there.

The hemoglobin A1C test was performed at my request because I didn’t like the borderline 110 number I got on September 18th.  The A1C doesn’t just look at a single day the way the standard test does, but gathers a three month overall picture of where your blood sugar tends to fall.  My normal score of 5.7% puts me inside the “low risk” category for adult onset diabetes.  Also, as you can see, on the second test my daily blood sugar result had fallen down into the normal range as well.

I was also informed that I have “excellent” liver and kidney functions, although they didn’t give me numbers for that.

My HDL (good) cholesterol score is a little too low.  This is a common problem for people trying to loose weight because we restrict calories and fats, even good fats.  Avocadoes, nuts and fatty fish are all good sources.  I eat avocado and nuts fairly regularly but I’ve been slacking on the fish.  If anyone else knows of another good source I’m very open to suggestions!

These results are not a fluke, and I am not a freak of nature.  This naked picture of the inside of my body is the direct result of the fact that I exercise about five times a week, I keep to a low meat diet, I restrict sugar and carbs, and (surprise surprise) I don’t eat fast food.  Most recently I’ve also cut artificial sweeteners from my diet and almost all caffeine, and I’m happily reaping the benefits of increased sleep because of it.

It’s difficult for me to fully convey how painful it is to be judged as inferior anyway, despite all this extremely hard work, based solely on the way I look.  The reason our health screeners stress me out so much, is because despite these numbers they still score me as a 72 (or a “C”) for health and label me high risk for everything, solely based on my BMI being too high for them.  They don’t acknowledge any of the work I do, they merely say, “TOO FAT!”

I watch videos where people call for the government to regulate what people are eating, because they shouldn’t have to pay for health costs generated by slobs like me.

I read article after article, and opinion after opinion on why people just can’t understand why the fatties can’t seem to stop chowing down on so much fast food, their smug and sanctimonious faces aimed squarely in my direction.

Make no mistake here, my journey is no longer health based.  I HAVE ACHIEVED good health already and I claim that prize as fully my own.  I carry it around inside my chest because it’s the only place I can.  It has to be enough because it’s a badge that no one else can see.

My remaining journey now is 100% aesthetic.  Maybe that’s shallow.  No, actually I’m sure it is shallow.  But it’s my choice and my journey to make should I choose to.  I am not a drain on anyone’s health care costs and I will no longer accept guilt and shame, or a lack of acknowledgement for all the work I have and continue to put in.  What I am going through is not the business of, nor the concern of the American Health Associates.  Period.

So I read and absorb all these things, strap my armor securely in place over my battered heart, and then I get up, crank up the music, and launch into yet another of a hundred thousand workouts.


  1. Thank you so much for this. I needed to read this. You are one voice speaking out against the SHAME we are subjected to. Blessings.

    1. *HUGS* Absolutely no one can tell you how healthy you are (or are not) by looking at you. The sanctioned bigotry about it seriously needs to stop, it causes SO much pain every day!

  2. p.s. My mother would be an example. No one would have questioned her 5' tall, never more than 100 pound (even when pregnant), size 0 self. And yet, she drank to cirrhosis, smoked to lung cancer. But boy, based on the outside, she was judged as being all that I should aspire to be. Bah.

  3. I know what you mean. "How dare you not live up to people's stereotypes and make it harder to judge you based on simple easy to observe generalizations so we can feel better about ourselves" - doesn't sound rational when you boil it down does it?
    Keep up the good fight!

    1. Thanks! Having the medical community decide to view me as a freak of nature does have a certain appeal too...

  4. Oh my gosh this post!!!!! :') So good!! I am in the same boat, healthy as a horse (lol) and whatever remains is aesthetic. Thank you for posting this, it helps put things in perspective. :) Also thank you for being so brave. *hughughug* <3

    1. Thank you! We have so much in common at times it's almost scary, you know - in a fun way. Heh.