This update, as well as regular posts in general, are very far behind.
There’s a couple of reasons for this:
1) I've been a bit down lately for reasons that are complex and too personal to go into here. When this happens I lose touch with creative energy (or any energy for that matter) and tend to fall asleep very early each night as a form of mental escape. Writing of any kind feels impossible. Regular exercise also hasn't been happening.
2) Another unfortunate side effect of feeling down is turning to food for comfort. The desire to comfort-eat mixed with my generally high hunger level has made it very, very difficult to shave off any weight, which is why my cumulative weight loss for the past month has been only two pounds. So basically there hasn't been much to report, or rather nothing tremendously positive to report.
That being said, I can still say a couple of good things about the past month:
1) I got to go on one of the most wonderful vacations of my life, details of which (and pictures) to follow.
2) Despite some emotional struggles, I did not gain weight and still lost two pounds! When I've had this much of a difficult time in the past I've been known to give up and my weight skyrocketed as a result. This time was different, and I’m really proud of myself for maintaining my weight loss through a tough stretch and even continuing a slow trend downward toward goal.
3) As of my last weigh-in I was 219 lbs. I know the numbers shouldn't matter that much, but I was super-excited to be in the teens. Getting under the two hundred pound mark feels like it’s really and truly within my grasp!
4) I have become a pro at saying “no” to desserts. This is largely because I get so much practice at it. Cakes, cookies and doughnuts appear at work several times per week, and ignoring them has become such an ingrained habit that I barely think about it anymore. People who are totally satisfied with, “just a bite” can’t understand this – but for me that single bite is exactly like an alcoholic deciding to put a drop of bourbon on their tongue. Its pure torture, and I’m much happier not knowing how something tastes so I can’t obsess over wanting to stuff myself with all of it. It’s also incredibly touching and sweet how my family always makes sure there’s fruit salad on hand for me at family dinners, so that I have an alternative for dessert that’s safe for me.
So overall, a lot more positives to report even though this hasn't been the best time in my life of late. I have things to be proud of, and more importantly things to be grateful to God, family and friends for. If I can focus on those even in my darkest moments, I know that I will always be carried through.