Transformation

No, I'm not referring to any transformation of mine. Mine is still hopelessly stalled.

I'm referring to the Transformation of the humans in the Transformers movies. You see, I loved that cartoon as a kid. I had toys for Jazz, Bumblebee, Ravage, Starscream - just to name a few. I vaguely remember that the cartoon had a few human characters; a fairly typical looking boy and girl of youngish teenage years. They weren't the point of the series and were fairly forgettable but I understand why they had to feature a bit more heavily when the film went to the big screen, to give the entirely human audience somebody they could relate to.

I also generally like the work of the director of the movies; Michael Bay - who also did Armageddon, Mystery Men and The Rock. Basically I enjoy a good explosion or slapstick superhero film on a Saturday night.

At any rate when the first Transformers movie was coming out, I really understood the casting choice for the human lead - he picked a kid named Shia Lebouf who looked more or less like a normal, cute boy I'd have run into back in high school.

Here he is covered in mud and holding the mystical box of whatever from the film:


They paired him opposite an equally typical looking high school girl played by Megan Fox, pictured here fixing cars in a miniskirt as most high school girls are prone to do:

Sure - that's what all the girls in my high school looked like. What... wasn't yours the same?

Anybody picking up on my note of sarcasm yet?

The film featured one other female character I can recall - a nerdy hacker girl who just happened to look more or less like an Australian Supermodel; pictured here with one of her fellow male hacker characters:


Is anybody else picking up on the gross imbalance yet, or is it just me?

I did pay to see the film, I even had a big, warm fuzzy moment when Optimus Prime showed up and his beloved, familiar voice BOOMED across the theater in Dolby stereo. But part of me couldn't stop noticing over and over... that in the Michael Bay world; men are allowed to look normal but women are not. And it never stopped bothering me.

Now, surprise surprise, it turns out the insanely pretty Megan Fox (and I fully admit the girl's beauty is nearly supernatural) is a bit of a difficult person to work with. So, Michael Bay has decided to replace her.

This time, he skipped actresses altogether and went straight for a Victoria's Secret underwear model instead. Observe:

Point of the story here... will Michael Bay be getting one more penny of my money?

No-transformin-way. Not ONE MORE PENNY.

I'm done with this crap. And the only thing Hollywood listens to is the almighty dollar. I can't be the only person who wants to see talented actresses in movies who actually look human, can I?

Anyone out there agree?

Anybody..?