Step 1: Remove cat from bed.
Step 2: Strip off blankets and old sheets.
Step 3: Remove cat from neatly folded pile of clean sheets you left sitting nearby.
Step 4: Spread fitted bottom sheet over the bed and tuck in at corners.
Step 5: Remove cat from bed.
Step 6: Put on pillowcases and arrange pillows at top of bed.
Step 7: Remove cat from bed.
Step 8: Remove cat’s claws from arm, clean up blood before it gets on sheets.
Step 9: Spray cat with squirt bottle until it flees from bed.
Step 10: Spread top sheet and blankets neatly over bed.
Step 11: Gather up pile of dirty sheets, trip over cat who is lurking on stairs.