Fat Amy

Hollywood has yet again gifted us with a girl-buddy-movie-dramedy (comedic-drama) film populated entirely with walking female stereotypes.  It’s called Pitch Perfect.  Thank you so much!  We’re ever so grateful!

Following recent trend they’ve thrown in a single overweight character to show how forward thinking they’ve grown to be (YES, we realize you do exist!  Don’t you love us?!)  And once again the overweight female character’s sole purpose in the film is to be funny because she’s fat.

Lets take it point by point, shall we?

First of all, for your viewing pleasure… the trailer:

Every female character in the film looks like a walking stereotype to me (The Slut, The Dumb Girl, etc.) but I’m going to focus here on the fat one.  These are my people, the other stereotypes can get their own advocate.

Point One – Her name isn’t Amy, it’s “Fat Amy”.  She’s not allowed to have a normal name, we’re going to label her right up front so that you see straight away this isn’t a character, it’s a FAT character.  The joke being that she insults herself before the “bitches” around her can do it, thus proving her superiority.  Note to film writers: yes, we fat folks do sometimes do this.  We do not do it because we’re well adjusted and accepting of ourselves, we literally do it in the hopes that if we make people laugh with us maybe they won’t laugh at us so very much.  Then we go home and cry ourselves to sleep.  Thank you so much for making such a funny and witty joke of it!

Point Two – “I’m super good at bikini carwashes!”  She then illustrates the point of how her amazing fat girl boobs can be used as human loofas for scrubbing down people’s automobiles.  The wit knows no bounds! (And apparently no self respect, either.)  I guess we’re supposed to be cringing and giggling at this point at the very thought of her in a bikini too.

Point Three – “Don’t put me down for cardio” because fat people NEVER exercise!  Ever!  We don’t walk, dance, swim, lift weights and go to group classes in an effort to be slim like perfect, perfect, YOU!  We just SIT and EAT all the time!  That’s why we’re fat!  And don’t you forget it!  Isn’t it funny?!  To illustrate the point, Amy attempts to run while lying down, because fat people love to call attention to ourselves by being intentionally and flagrantly lazy during group exercise attempts.  The only truth in this is that the fat girl might, realistically, attempt to sneak off and exercise alone because she’s ashamed that she might sweat more than everyone else or not be able to keep up.  Oh, the hilarity.  My sides are hurting!

Point Four – “Got game by the pound” accompanying said song lyric by grabbing and shaking her fat belly, because in case you forgot, she’s fat!  And she’s showing it off by groping and jiggling it at you.  Groundbreaking stuff here.

The only joke the writers didn’t seem to seize is the opportunity to show fat girl desperation when a boy wants to kiss her.  She doesn’t jump and drool all over him she turns him down, which surprised me.  Of course she’s excessively mean while doing so, but maybe that character is supposed to be a jerk who deserves it – I don’t know.

The actress playing “Fat Amy” (and by the way, IMDB actually lists that as the character’s name) is Rebel Wilson, she also appeared as one of the two fat female characters in the movie Bridesmaids.  She’s a beautiful Australian girl with long, flaxen hair and big eyes.  It breaks my heart that this kind of visual insult is the only job available to her in her chosen profession.  It breaks my heart that she was willing to take it.

Her role in Bridesmaids was about the same, she was the walking joke of an unwanted roommate to the movie’s slim main character whose main job was to get rashes and do gross things to prove how unpleasant she was to live with.  That movie also had Melissa McCarthy as the fat bridesmaid who could beat up anybody (because fat is exactly the same as muscle… no, really) and wanted to eat three foot long subway sandwiches during sex.  Yep, that’s exactly what we do – call attention to our gluttony during an act in which we are already uncomfortable because there’s no clothing available to hide behind.  Spot on!

I beg you, if anyone out there is listening to me, the only voice that the jerks who purvey this kind of trash will listen to comes from your wallet.  Do not go see movies that negatively and stereotypically portray women like this.  Show them that you want to see fat people portrayed as real people instead of walking fat jokes.  Show them that you want real, creative humor that isn’t an insult to your intelligence – not just the same regurgitated filth over and over and over again.

This crap from Hollywood needs to stop.  Seriously.