Difficult Day

It’s impossible for me to predict when a bad day is going to crop up.  After having smashing success getting through a tricky event on Saturday, yesterday was depressingly hard.  I understand why, I’m just trying to figure out a way to head something like this off before it happens again.

The problem was that I went to a movie.  And it’s frustrating that my life is now so ruled by my diet that I have to plan ahead for something as simple as seeing a movie with friends.

Since I take in so few calories with every meal I can only go about three or four hours tops without eating.  Any longer than that and I start shutting down with headaches, dizziness, sadness, and hunger bad enough to slide me into the danger zone for cheating.

I had a shake on my way to the movie, but between the film length and then needing to run a few errands afterward it had been five hours by the time I got home to where my food is and by then I didn’t even want to eat, I just wanted to cry.  Because I didn’t want another cold shake at that point – I was run down and hungry enough that I really just wanted a sandwich.

So Ted scooped me up off the floor (he’s getting good at that) and coaxed me into eating something on my plan.  Then we took a walk.  Again, it’s a little scary how I wouldn’t have gotten through it if he hadn’t been there, I just would have had the sandwich.

Since a game plan of only leaving my house for three hour intervals isn’t really how I’d like to live for the foreseeable future, somehow I have to make a more portable food source so that I can snack on the go.

The clinic does offer snack bars, but everyone who’s mentioned them to me advised against actually eating them.  They’re similar to granola bars so they eat fast and contain too much energy for their small size, making it super easy to munch way too many of them in a short time period and skyrocket your calorie intake.

I’ll have to do more research on those recipes for turning shakes into baked goods since my shake-brownie at the wedding traveled really well.  I just need it to be slightly less spongy.

Two positives:

1) I got through the hard day, plain and simple - and I'm still on track.

2) I just completed two full rotations of my kettlebell weight-lifting workout for the first time with no collapses!  

***************

On an unrelated note, I thought the new Riddick movie was really disappointing.  Way too much inexplicable boob exposure thrown in for no apparent reason in addition to some pretty rampant misogyny in the storytelling and then on top of that, it didn’t even advance the main character’s storyline.  It was like they tried to make Pitch Black over again only not as good this time.  Meh.

The Wedding Hurdle

On day ten (also known as yesterday) I went to a wedding.  This would mark the first time in my life I’d ever gone to a wedding and reception without eating a single bite of the food that was provided at the event.

For this accomplishment I believe I deserve a very hearty pat on the back.

It’s a strange experience and I had to figure out how to approach it from an etiquette perspective.  Since I work with the bride, it was easy to tell her ahead of time that I wouldn’t be able to eat anything and that no offense was intended by this maneuver, and she of course understood since she’s acquainted with the strict plan that I’m doing.

Getting through the event itself required some planning.  On the way there, I drank a shake, which actually turned out to be a slight miscalculation since it was a bit of a drive and by the time we arrived I was desperately in need of a restroom.  The shakes are mostly made from water and contain a diuretic on top of that – so I now have to plan my life around a delicate balance of trying not to be hungry while trying to make sure there’s a restroom handy at all times.  It’s tricky.

So we arrived just in the nick of time, and instead of taking a seat I was dashing into the reception hall for the ladies room.  You know how there’s that one dork at every wedding who goes running past the wedding party at the last possible second to take their seat?  Yeah, that was me.

Following the beautiful ceremony we all headed into the hall for cocktail hour.  This was the most difficult part since the hors d’oeuvres looked and smelled really delicious, but I got a diet coke and kept it firmly in my hands per a suggestion I’d picked up from my classmates – which worked fine.  Also Ted was the one sitting right next to me and he kept filling his plate with this really funky looking seafood salad that was peppered with baby Chuthulus.  I like seafood, but I’m not so big on the squid/snail/clam variety.  Things like chicken satay were harder to resist, but occasionally we would look at each other and I’d murmur to him, “I want something more than this,” and he would nod.  I made it through fine.

I will say that skipping all cocktails at a wedding reception is something of a drag, no way around it.  Sometimes you just have to acknowledge the tough parts and then move on.

For dinner I had actually brought an entrée with me hidden in my purse.  Since the foods on my plan are all shelf stable (like astronaut food) they don’t require refrigeration and are not cold.  Ted brought me a smaller sized salad plate and I slipped my vegetarian cheese ravioli onto it and discreetly hid the little box they’d been in.  So while everyone else was eating dinner, so was I – and it felt almost normal.  As we finished up I realized how short an amount of time it really takes to eat.  If you can just get through that half hour then the moment has passed, and you’re in the clear.  It also struck me ironic how short that time frame is: the pleasure of putting something your mouth, chewing it and swallowing is nothing – but it can last on your body for practically a lifetime if you’re not careful.  Is it really worth it?

With dinner behind me it was all smooth sailing.  There’s plenty to do and watch at receptions, like the dances and the bride and groom happily smooshing one another with cake.  Speaking of cake, for dessert I’d baked one of my chocolate shakes into a big, lumpy looking cookie.  It wasn’t bad, but I think I’ll try some other recipes in the future and see if I can find one that’s a little less spongy.

Before I knew it I was heading home with the first major hurdle of my weight loss plan safely behind me, and filled with a sense of real pride for having gotten through it 100% in the clear.

Also, I got to slow dance with Ted.

 

Status Report: 2.6 lbs. lost, 18 lbs. total

My first week (technically just six days) on my new program have drawn to a close.  I got weighed in last Wednesday night and was down 2.6 lbs. from the previous week which puts me at 18 lbs. total lost from my personal all-time high.  Average weight loss for week one on this program is usually around 6 to 10 lbs.

If a woman’s body can be equated to an ocean then one might say I got weighed in just as the tide was as high as it could go.  As I was driving home from the meeting, the tide turned and began to let out.  This means that I got weighed in at the worst possible time in an entire given month that I could have.  This is also why I watched with horror in the days prior to weigh in as the tide came in and my weight rose and rose from its initial six pound drop right back up to my starting weight.

Here’s the good news: on every other weight loss program I’ve ever done, the best I could possibly hope for during this week in my cycle was to break even and not gain weight.  That means on this one, I’m actually capable of a modest loss.

Trying to focus on the positives.  I’m feeling a little bit better mentally every day, and next week’s loss will be better.

On a side note: Ted has stolen and hid the bathroom scale.  This is probably a good thing.