A journey in words...

Welcome to my journey in words! A story about health, exercise, weight loss, food addiction, humor, size discrimination, sarcasm, social commentary and all the rest that’s rattling around inside my head...

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Monday, September 9, 2013

Difficult Day

It’s impossible for me to predict when a bad day is going to crop up.  After having smashing success getting through a tricky event on Saturday, yesterday was depressingly hard.  I understand why, I’m just trying to figure out a way to head something like this off before it happens again.

The problem was that I went to a movie.  And it’s frustrating that my life is now so ruled by my diet that I have to plan ahead for something as simple as seeing a movie with friends.

Since I take in so few calories with every meal I can only go about three or four hours tops without eating.  Any longer than that and I start shutting down with headaches, dizziness, sadness, and hunger bad enough to slide me into the danger zone for cheating.

I had a shake on my way to the movie, but between the film length and then needing to run a few errands afterward it had been five hours by the time I got home to where my food is and by then I didn’t even want to eat, I just wanted to cry.  Because I didn’t want another cold shake at that point – I was run down and hungry enough that I really just wanted a sandwich.

So Ted scooped me up off the floor (he’s getting good at that) and coaxed me into eating something on my plan.  Then we took a walk.  Again, it’s a little scary how I wouldn’t have gotten through it if he hadn’t been there, I just would have had the sandwich.

Since a game plan of only leaving my house for three hour intervals isn’t really how I’d like to live for the foreseeable future, somehow I have to make a more portable food source so that I can snack on the go.

The clinic does offer snack bars, but everyone who’s mentioned them to me advised against actually eating them.  They’re similar to granola bars so they eat fast and contain too much energy for their small size, making it super easy to munch way too many of them in a short time period and skyrocket your calorie intake.

I’ll have to do more research on those recipes for turning shakes into baked goods since my shake-brownie at the wedding traveled really well.  I just need it to be slightly less spongy.

Two positives:
1) I got through the hard day, plain and simple - and I'm still on track.
2) I just completed two full rotations of my kettlebell weight-lifting workout for the first time with no collapses!  

On an unrelated note, I thought the new Riddick movie was really disappointing.  Way too much inexplicable boob exposure thrown in for no apparent reason in addition to some pretty rampant misogyny in the storytelling and then on top of that, it didn’t even advance the main character’s storyline.  It was like they tried to make Pitch Black over again only not as good this time.  Meh.

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