Status Report: 3 lbs. lost, 68 lbs. total

I’m not going to pretend that I now only desire fruits and vegetables and that my love and cravings for sugar and fat combined is a thing of the past – but – I will say that walking into the produce department at Wegman’s does now produce a feeling akin to being a kid in a candy shop.

It’s because I genuinely do love fresh, ripe fruits and vegetables and when I walk into that department I know that I can safely run wild, take home and eat what I like, and my body will be healthy and strong as a result as my weight loss continues.  A beautiful produce department is a safe, delicious, dare I say decadent place for me to be.

This week I brought home white nectarines, plump round Brussels sprouts, sweet rich grapes, curly kale, crisp romaine, beautiful sweet multicolored grape tomatoes, fresh melon that collapses and melts across the tongue, crisp cucumbers, earthy maitake mushrooms… I could go on.  It’s mine all mine.  And I am so grateful I live somewhere with access to these wonderful foods and also possess the resources to buy them.  A lot of people out there struggle due to lack of access and the extremely high cost of eating healthy.

So… three more pounds off!  That’s a few weeks of work, not just one, because I’m overdue to check in.  Closing in on the 70 lbs. lost mark doesn’t feel real.  I don’t feel or look different enough to myself for that to be possible – I look down and go, ‘oh man… there’s still such a long journey left!’

On the other hand my clothing sizes are very different, ranging now from 12 up to 20 instead of up in the 28 range.  I am pear shaped, so my upper half has shrunk down already to a pretty average women’s size large while my lower half continues to retain most of my body weight, I would assume this extreme size difference continues to make dresses impossible for me, but since I haven’t tried one on in over a year I can’t be sure.  Also that tells you how dumb women’s clothing sizes truly are.  For example in pants I’m wearing mostly what they call a 20, because when I try on size 18 I can’t even pull them up over my hips let alone zip them.  So why is there such a huge size difference between 18 and 20?  I discovered it’s because there’s also 18W in there between the two, which, by the way, I can fit into.  It’s just so, so stupid and completely arbitrary.

I have also noticed that my back is almost completely smoothed out, whereas it used to have a couple of fat rolls.  That’s really nice.  I catch myself reaching back to run my hands down my own back, noticing that difference.

I always thought that this far in I’d be spinning in a grassy, sunlit field with glee with my arms flung out in ecstasy – but the reality is it happens so slowly that it’s sort of anti-climactic.  It is really nice though being closer to finished than to the start.  And other people can more easily see what I cannot (and they are nice enough to tell me, thank you!) so I know things are changing, I guess I still just need better eyes to see for myself.

Does anybody else think that when I hit goal I should get a snail tattoo on my butt or something?  Seems appropriate.

What is a Beach Body?

And now… a rant. (Bear with me, I haven’t had one in a while.)

As summer approaches I’m hearing the usual clamor from the weight loss/diet/fitness industry about getting our bodies “beach-worthy” for the warm weather that is approaching.  I really don’t like the term “beach body” as it applies to fitness.  It implies that only bodies which are a certain size and shape (due to the strict discipline of their owners or THIS amazing diet product!) are worthy of the fun and relaxing activities, and small clothing volumes, that beaches provide.

To me a beach body is, quite simply, a body of any size or shape which happens to currently be located on a beach.  You don’t have to earn fun in the sun by being muscular or cut or slender or by having huge boobs to fill out a bikini top, you just have to be there.  Period.

When I reach my goal weight I will still not have what American culture is talking about when it refers to a “beach body”.  I will carry scars which, unless surgically removed, are likely to stay with me for life.  There’s an adage that goes: having forgiveness does not mean you don’t have to live with the consequences of your mistakes.  Just so, my body may forgive me for taking it to almost 300 pounds by taking those pounds back off and eventually getting to a state of glowing good health, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have to live with the physical consequences of having once been that weight.  The scars will probably hang in soft, loose folds of flesh that will forever bar me from having a classic “beach-worthy body".  And just as I did when I was pounds upon pounds heavier, I will continue to put on a swimsuit and swim and go to the beach.  As always, if the sight of me is offensive to people they can feel free not to look.

Here's my beach body from a few year's ago (2008 - when I was probably at my heaviest), having fun with my friends while building a sand castle.  Nobody went blind from the sight of my large, pale thighs, and nobody stopped me at the gate and refused me entrance for not having the right kind of "beach body" for the beach I was on.  If I look cute, happy and playful in this picture, it's because I was.

Recipe Share: Squash & Sweet Potato Soup

This recipe is the result of my combining two other recipes I was given by a co-worker: one for butternut squash soup and one for sweet potato.  Both of hers were vegetarian, but in soups I really like the flavor that chicken broth adds.  I also roasted the vegetables instead of boiling because I like the way the flavors in roasted vegetables develop.  The end result is a sweet and savory soup, thick, creamy and rich.  Perfect for the fall - but pretty danged good right now too!

Squash & Sweet Potato Soup

• 2 large peeled & cubed sweet potatoes
• 1 small peeled & cubed butternut squash
• 1 medium peeled & diced onion
• 1 cup peeled & diced carrots
• 1 cup diced celery
• 5 cups chicken broth (enough to cover all ingredients)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• ½ teaspoon dried oregano leaves
• ½ teaspoon dried thyme leaves
• ½ teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 pinch of ground nutmeg
• Salt & pepper to taste

1)      Toss sweet potatoes & squash in 1 tbsp. olive oil.

2)      Bake sweet potatoes & squash @ 350 degrees for 50 minutes.

3)      Dice onion, carrots & celery in a food processor.

4)      Sautee onion, carrots & celery in the oil until tender.

5)      Add squash, sweet potatoes & broth.

6)      Bring to a boil, reduce heat and then simmer covered for 40 minutes.

7)      Add seasonings and blend with immersion blender until smooth.