I feel a little guilty posting this after so many people have told me my attitude is so good…
Overall my attitude is good, this past week I’ve entered into my lowest point so far. It’s like being lost in a little bit of ugly woods; dark now but I know I’ll eventually find my way out again.
It also helps to know it’s due to three factors:
1) I have PMS (sorry for the over-share).
2) The actual day of my birthday was spent working like a dog for ten hours at a job I don’t really like, then fighting the hour long commute, eating takeout, and collapsing into bed. For some reason since turning 30 my birthdays have depressed me a bit. Although I did get a home made card from my dear husband and phone calls from parents, mom in law, brother, sister and a dear friend – all of that definitely brightened the day.
3) I’m in pain.
The injury mostly just felt weird for the first few days, but since Sunday it’s turned into actual pain. Not intolerable – just sort of there. All the time. A twin monster to my persistent hunger peering over my shoulder and drooling slightly.
Although now that I’ve mentioned it the hunger has been dogging me significantly less these days.
I had three days in a row; Monday Tuesday and Wednesday, where I topped the dreaded 2,000 calorie intake point. I also have not been to the gym since last Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving).
This is partly due to Ted being ill and my desire to run home to him after work, but I admit I’m also working through some fear. My entire right leg feels really weak and strange and I’m afraid that exercise is going to make things worse. This is in direct conflict with the advice my Doctor gave me; I just have to get back on the horse. I think I’ve officially fallen off it at this point.
I have to work on Friday so I think this week is a total loss – I’m hereby publicly promising to get my oversized butt back there this Saturday. I just have to get over this bump in the road and I think I’ll be okay again.