A journey in words...

Welcome to my journey in words! A story about health, exercise, weight loss, food addiction, humor, size discrimination, sarcasm, social commentary and all the rest that’s rattling around inside my head...

I now twit, er... or tweet. Anyway, you can follow me on twitter @Aeon1202

Thursday, December 3, 2009

If you find my lost motivation, please send it home.

I feel a little guilty posting this after so many people have told me my attitude is so good…

Overall my attitude is good, this past week I’ve entered into my lowest point so far. It’s like being lost in a little bit of ugly woods; dark now but I know I’ll eventually find my way out again.

It also helps to know it’s due to three factors:

1) I have PMS (sorry for the over-share).
2) The actual day of my birthday was spent working like a dog for ten hours at a job I don’t really like, then fighting the hour long commute, eating takeout, and collapsing into bed. For some reason since turning 30 my birthdays have depressed me a bit. Although I did get a home made card from my dear husband and phone calls from parents, mom in law, brother, sister and a dear friend – all of that definitely brightened the day.
3) I’m in pain.

The injury mostly just felt weird for the first few days, but since Sunday it’s turned into actual pain. Not intolerable – just sort of there. All the time. A twin monster to my persistent hunger peering over my shoulder and drooling slightly.

Although now that I’ve mentioned it the hunger has been dogging me significantly less these days.

I had three days in a row; Monday Tuesday and Wednesday, where I topped the dreaded 2,000 calorie intake point. I also have not been to the gym since last Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving).

This is partly due to Ted being ill and my desire to run home to him after work, but I admit I’m also working through some fear. My entire right leg feels really weak and strange and I’m afraid that exercise is going to make things worse. This is in direct conflict with the advice my Doctor gave me; I just have to get back on the horse. I think I’ve officially fallen off it at this point.

I have to work on Friday so I think this week is a total loss – I’m hereby publicly promising to get my oversized butt back there this Saturday. I just have to get over this bump in the road and I think I’ll be okay again.


  1. Get yourself back to the gym, but compromise. Stay half as long as you normally would, stretch for twice as long. This sounds like strange advice, but sometimes you can't look at it "all or nothing" or it's just too scary. Yes, you need to get back on schedule, but you don't have to do it all at once. Half the battle in your head, after all. Just getting there at all will make you feel loads better, and will make it more likely that you'll go back again soon - as long as it's not negative. So go, stretch your ass off, focus more on weights than on cardio, but do a little just to reassure yourself that you can (and you can). Pain isn't *always* bad, but you don't wanna make it worse.

    You can fall off the horse, as long as you don't use it as an excuse to stay off :) Just climb back on, carefully, and you'll be fine.

  2. Maybe Motivation just wandered a little bit. Go looking in the attic with the photo albums and remember you Can Do It!

  3. Mindset is not so much a misnomer. We are what we think every day. Think about working out even if you cannot, for whatever reason. The first time you get back to the gym you will satisfy the craving for it that thinking about it every day brings. Weird, but any port in a storm of sciatica... :-)