Day One

To be brutally honest here, day one was scary and difficult and without Ted I wouldn’t have got through it.

The food replacement shakes I’m using as my primary food source contain a lot of protein, so they do prevent my stomach from growling – but I’m essentially living off of powder and water at the moment.  For someone as food-obsessed as I am this quite simply feels frightening.  I feel weirdly empty, not precisely hungry, but very unsatisfied.

I also have to explore ways to change up the flavor fast, because after a single day I’ve already grown a little bored with the way the shakes taste.  The vanilla one reminds me of a McDonald’s shake, which tastes okay – but imagine drinking a very heavily iced one… for every meal.

I think I may need to brush my teeth immediately after eating.  The things taste good at first but they leave a slightly weird aftertaste that tends to linger.

I keep reminding myself that an uncomfortable adjustment period is probably natural and necessary, and that many other people both bigger and more addicted than myself have managed to successfully do this.  I have to believe that today was the worst it will be and it’s all downhill from here on out.  But as long and hungry as today at work was, I will fully admit that I’m freaking out a little bit right now.

At the clinic they impressed upon me the vital importance of getting a strong start and sticking firmly to the program in the beginning.  If you get a weak start and cheat right away things only degenerate from there, so I’m determined to hang in there – but I’m no titan, tears were shed.