2,247

I’m officially having a bad night.

It wasn’t a bad day actually it was a pretty good one. Church anniversary followed by brunch with my church family, and then a late afternoon of cooking up and enjoying a healthy dinner before getting caught up on episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” and a Bible study that Ted and I are involved in at our church. Ironically the study topic was Evolution – ironic because we’d been watching a show called Big Bang Theory right before hand.

Okay, well I thought it was funny anyhow…

My bad night began when I finally sat down to track my calories for the day. I mentioned I was at a church brunch right? Are people out there familiar with how most church ladies cook? I thought I did okay, one helping no refills and no deserts despite the chocolate cake looking fabulous and drool worthy. But as I tallied up the calories on the three yummy salads that I had consumed, I started to worry. By the time I was finished totaling up brunch, I was already at 1,000… not a place I like to be before dinner time.

Then dinner… sweet potato fries, mixed vegetables and a thin chicken fillet. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Add in the butter and olive oil from cooking. Then add in the Yoplait whipped chocolate mousse yogurt I had afterward; then two ounces of cheese from the plate of cheese that Ted was snacking on. Cheese is 100 calories, for one ounce. Just… one.

What do you get? 2,247 blasted calories – that’s what. About 500 OVER where I want to come in at the top of my range for the day!

Dangit dangitty dangit dang dang. I know better than to eat before I track, and I did it anyway!

I am so not happy.

Yeah I know, I know… it’s one day. But this hasn’t happened in a month, and you don’t know how scary this is.

I’m not kidding – it’s scary. I feel like I’m dangling over the precipice of eating control and could fall back over the cliff into gross overindulgence at any second. And today, it felt like I did.

What if I wake up tomorrow and can’t keep this up anymore?

The simple truth of the matter is… there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Yeah, I know I know… I’m being too hard on myself. But right now it’s all I can feel.

Here’s praying for a better day tomorrow.