In August my family is taking the pilgrimage to Nerdly Gamer Holy Land – also known as Gencon Indy.
My husband has already started replacing the words of that Beastie Boys song “No Sleep ‘til Brooklyn” with “No Sleep ‘til Indy”.
My stepson already informed me that he plans to sleep in the computer gaming area; at which point I explained to him some of the stereotypical people you see at gaming conventions; one of which I call “Asleep-in-the-Corner-Guy”. This is the rumpled, slightly smelly, unwashed young man you stumble upon collapsed in the corner of a convention room, surrounded by people, sound asleep – because he’s run out of juice and generally can’t afford a hotel room to sleep (and bathe) in.
I said to Kyle that under no circumstances is he allowed to become Asleep-in-the-Corner-Guy and additionally, he has no excuse to be, since he has both a hotel room and two people there looking after him.
Teddi simply reiterated to him the 3-2-1 rule of conventions. In a given twenty four hour period you must get: a minimum of three hours of sleep, two meals, and one shower.
Con stereotypes are a bit like my gym stereotypes. In addition to Asleep-in-the-Corner-Guy you generally see Shouty-Gamer-Guy; the dude playing an RPG who feels the need to shout over everyone else at the table. Mystical-Fairy-Girl; little girl, big sparkly costume. Too-Much-Flesh-Too-Much-Flesh; is the guy or gal of size whose showing more skin than anyone wants to see. Cup-Runneth-Over; I can stray into this category myself if I’m not careful, but generally involves a generously boobed woman in a corset. Then there’s the obligatory Chicks-in-Chainmail and Dudes-in-Superhero Garb.
I could go on and on. And on.
As for me, I’m looking forward to the LARPing and costuming. I’ve found that I do better with set goals in mind, so right now my goal is to fit into a better costume by then – I’ve got between five and six months. Theoretically I could be forty of fifty pounds slimmer by then, at least – that’s the hope.
Not that there’s anything particularly wrong with my current Steampunk costumes; I’d just like something less, well, big. Okay fine - I’d just like a body less big to wrap them around. My current figure may lend itself well to corsetry but they’re still easier to get into when you don’t have a ginourmous butt.
So “costumes costumes costumes” is my new mantra. I may start sticking pictures of rockin’ Steampunk garb to the front of my pantry and fridge.