Post-Detox Reflection

I made it through (well, almost) two days of low sugar intake more or less unscathed. Fortunately my husband, son and cat have all survived as well.

Friday wasn’t too bad, though I was excessively grouchy and whiney Friday night. Saturday was much the same. I think the grouchiness stemmed from being really hungry the whole time.

Saturday night was the most difficult. Dinner at my in-laws included take out food, and sitting around a table watching a group of people all much skinnier than me dine on French fries, pizza, onion rings, cheese steaks and hoagies while I enjoyed a Greek salad was really tough. Not that there was anything wrong with my salad, it was good, but it’s not deep fat fried onion rings.

By the time I got home I was ravenous and morose, so I finally broke and had some pretzels. Man did they taste great after two days without any bread. Afterward I felt like a failure though, which spurned an interesting conversation with my husband.

Ted pointed out that I’m miserable while restricting my food intake and miserable being fat – so how can I be happy? He wondered if my particular genetic makeup just isn’t suited to skinny no matter what I do or try. He wondered if repeatedly subjecting myself to science experiments to try to find the right combination that will make me something I’m not meant to be could jeopardize the good health that I already enjoy. He wondered why his fervent belief that I’m a beautiful goddess of a woman is never enough to convince me that I’m okay as I am.

And I (while throwing wooden spoons about the kitchen) railed at him in anger for being able to eat a dinner of cheese steak and French fries without ever gaining a single pound. I asked (okay, screamed) at him if he had any idea what it felt like watching people around me consume fried chicken while I had to be satisfied with fruit and lettuce leaves.

We were both angry and both yelling, but not at each other. It wasn’t a fight it was just an intense moment.

So here I am on the other side of detox. So what’s the plan?

Here ‘tis…

Avoid the following:

High fructose corn syrup.

Bleached, chemically treated flour.

Meat (particularly red meat).

Do the following:

Be active every day, at least a little.

Enjoy as many fruits, vegetables, healthy grains and beans as I like.

The Key:

Don’t eat when not hungry, and don’t stuff myself full.

And that’s it. It’s pretty simple really, easy to remember and does not involve having to record, calculate and remember every bite of food I eat.

I’ve started buying fresh, home made bread from my friend Melissa. It’s made with unbleached, good quality flour and contains very little regular cane sugar. It’s also delicious, I had some for dinner last night and again for breakfast today. Since it has no preservatives it will go bad quicker than store bought bread, but keeping my spare loaves in the freezer solves that problem simply enough.

The key in my key is to learn to listen to my body. I’ve been fighting against it and out of touch with it for so long that it’s virtually a stranger to me. To that end, if I desperately want a piece of chocolate or steak then that’s what I’m going to have because I believe those cravings come to us for a reason. However I’m not blowing it on cruddy foods that just leave me unsatisfied anyway, I want to make every calorie I consume count either for nutrition, enjoyment, or to satisfy something I’m longing for. In a few months, I’ll get on the scale and see what’s going on.