A journey in words...

Welcome to my journey in words! A story about health, exercise, weight loss, food addiction, humor, size discrimination, sarcasm, social commentary and all the rest that’s rattling around inside my head...

I now twit, er... or tweet. Anyway, you can follow me on twitter @Aeon1202

Monday, November 2, 2009

This is Halloween

Halloween actually wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be, and planning to get out of my house and go to a party was helpful – so I had no reason whatsoever to buy a single bag of Halloween candy. This is good, because in past years I have sat on my sofa all night eating mini-heath bars and watching Ghost Hunters Live while my butt slowly (or quickly) grew larger.

Considering some of my past binges sometimes it’s a wonder to me I’m not even bigger than I actually am.

So I purchased no Halloween candy, got up that morning and got the Ghoulash cooking in the crock pot, then ate my Big Saturday Breakfast (pile of broccoli, mushrooms, cabbage and snow peas glued together with a single egg) and off I went to the gym. After 35 minutes of cardio I was home and too busy with showering and making myself up as the Zombie Prom Queen to bother with any more eating – picture attached.

The party when we arrived was unsurprisingly saturated with food. Fried food. chocolate food, cheesy poof salty food, whipped cream covered food. I was absolutely terrified to eat anything for fear that the floodgates would open and I’d consume anything (and everything) in my path. However by then I was pretty hungry, so I had to eat.

I started out with a small bowl of my Ghoulash (not bad) and meandered my way through a fried chicken thing, a fried mushroom, Frankenstein’s fried monster, two bite brownies, a cupcake a single piece of Halloween candy, chips and some raw vegetables. In the end when I went home and tallied everything up I came out at around 1,998 calories or so – in short I squeaked by barely making it under my maximum… again.

As I’ve learned from the past few weeks, when I get close to my maximum I stay the exact same weight, I don’t loose. I can only hope that the rest of the week will go well enough that I’ll be able to make up for the indulgences.

As you can tell if you read my last post I was a bit discouraged last Friday; in fact I flipped out on my husband on the phone: “you don’t have to live with being hungry all the time!!! When you’re hungry – you can eat!!!” Yeah, it wasn’t pretty and I’m not proud of it. As if the way my body works is his fault. And to his credit; he’s been cutting back on late night snacks and skipping desserts just to support me. He didn’t deserve my freak out, but he was patient and kind and I haven’t quit despite the disappointment.

Gloria was totally right in her comment from that day; I didn’t get here in a day and I won’t get back in a week. I named this blog ‘The Long Road’ in acknowledgement of that – and yet still managed to forget.

Thanks all for the support and encouragement everyone… I’m still walking the road.

1 comment:

  1. So I wanted to chime in about your hunger. I had the exact same problem, and as you know it's a lot harder to lose if you are fixated on the fact that you want to eat. For me, the desire to eat didn't have that much to do with my stomach being empty; sometimes, I just wanted to eat, and eat a lot. Here is how I dealt with that. If any of this helps you, that's great.

    * Pickles are *very* low in calories. Sometimes, I'd have bowl of pickles, baby carrots and slivers of red bell peppers. Especially if I wanted something crunchy.

    * I love kale, and it's very filling. Another low cal dinner: bring a little less than a quarter inch of water to a boil in a wide pot or frying pan. Add 8 oz sliced mushrooms and some salt. Add half a bunch of kale which has been washed and torn into pieces. You can throw in some slivered garlic if you like too. Add whatever other seasonings strike you: soy sauce might be good. Cook until mushrooms are very tender and kale is wilted. Serve with a piece of bread if you must, but I often eat it as is. I've been known to throw in some white or napa cabbage and a carrot or two with the mushrooms; don't over cook - the carrots and cabbage get a nice sweet flavor. This is more about volume eating for very little calories; if you have the calorie budget, add a few beans and some stock for a soup.

    * Oatmeal is your friend, and it doesn't have to be for breakfast. 1/2 c of rolled oats (not the instant kind) averages only 150 calories. Cook it with more water than the package calls for and for longer; the oats swell up more, and make a lot of oatmeal. For only 40 more calories, add 1/2 c canned pumpkin. Fiber + volume + vitamins + sweetness.

    * Tofu is not actually all that bad. Nasoya makes packages of lite silken tofu that are only 150 calories for the entire package. I've been known to eat one for breakfast, served *very* cold with soy sauce. Alternately, process 1 package of lite silken tofu with 1 can pumpkin puree, some cinnamon, splenda, and whatever other spices you fancy. Portion out into about 4 portions. Refrigerate for a pumpkiny custardy dessert for about 100 calories.

    * Believe it or not, Gerber makes some snacks for babies that taste perfectly good and are good crunchy snacks. They're puffed cereal type snacks; 74 pieces (about half a cup) are only 25 calories. They come in strawberry, banana, sweet potato, and cherry.

    Keep it up! You're doing awesome. It's not easy, I know.